Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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