i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize