McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
