sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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