If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Barsexuality is the new black.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
