That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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