No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
