google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is Oprah even human
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
