i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
