u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's never too late to be topless.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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