Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
