Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
