He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
