stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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