I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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