I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
