I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
