dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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