Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize
