I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
