Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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