Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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