It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
