I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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