dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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