i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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