I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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