so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
