i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
