why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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