guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
