either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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