He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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