Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
