but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize