I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
