I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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