butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
