Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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