Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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