You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
