Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
