I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
