Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
