she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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