member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
