I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
