Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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