I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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