It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
