clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
