so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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